


Ballet of Sunshine

by withlove_sid



Series: Sunshine Universe [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton Being Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton Has ADHD, Alexander Hamilton Has Anxiety, Alexander Hamilton has Trust Issues, Alexander Hamilton is a Little Shit, Alexander Hamilton needs an adult, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Angelica Schuyler/ Maria Lewis, Ballet, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, College Student John Laurens, Daddy Issues, Eventual Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Issues, Fighting, Gay John Laurens, Gen, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens is That Adult, John Laurens is a Good Mom, M/M, Modern Era, Nonbinary Peggy Schuyler, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Philip Hamilton Has ADHD, Polyamorous Marquis de Lafayette, Sunshine verse, alexander hamilton is a good dad, anger issues, father-son bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withlove_sid/pseuds/withlove_sid
Summary: The first time John meets Alexander, it’s his third day working front desk at the dance studio near his university.orThe one where John finds himself accidentally adopting a semi-incompetent, single father and his adorable son.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton & Philip Hamilton (1782-1801), Philip Hamilton & John Laurens, hercules mulligan/peggy schuyler
Series: Sunshine Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002852
Comments: 34
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This happened for a few reasons.  
> I saw Hamilton for the first time in July - then read some fucking awesome fics.  
> Got inspired, decided to write.  
> Went to my friend's dance studio to hang out, read a dancer fic, thought about Eliza running a dance studio, and Alex bringing little Philip to dance and meeting front desk worker John.  
> Very, very, very special thanks to [@anotherfngrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherfngrl/pseuds/anotherfngrl) for being there for me and having late-night discussions about fic and really everything. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you.

The first time John meets Alexander, it’s his third day working front desk at the dance studio near his university. A small mop of curls peered over the counter, wide brown eyes locked with John’s. John smiled.

“Hey kiddo! Need something?” 

The child nodded, wild hair falling out of his bun. 

“My daddy hasn’t come to pick me up yet,” he says in a small voice. “Ms. Eliza said to ask you to call him.” 

John’s eyes soften, “Oh my goodness. Can’t have that! Do you know his number, sweetheart?” 

“Ms. Eliza says you can look it up on the computer. Is that okay? I forgot it.”

John’s heart clenched at the sweet request from the little boy in front of him. He was going to tear whoever hurt him apart. 

“Okie dokie, what’s your daddy’s name, kiddo?”

“Alexander Hamilton!” The boy responded. 

John sniffed a grin and turned to his computer. He found the number rather quickly. Eliza had it highlighted in red, signifying his habit of lateness. 

“Pull up a chair, jelly bean. I’m gonna give him a call, see where he is.” The boy John now knew as Philip dragged a chair next to John’s and hopped up. He hummed quietly and kicked his feet while John punched the number into the desk phone. It rang a few times before a tight voice came through the receiver. 

“Hamilton.” 

John exhaled slowly, preparing himself for a potential fight. 

“Good evening, Mr. Hamilton. This is John Laurens from _Ballet of Sunshine._ Your child’s class is finished and we were wondering if you are on your way?” 

The voice on the other end started swearing in an odd mixture of Spanish and French and John pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment. 

“I am so sorry, oh my god,” Mr. Hamilton started. “I got caught up in work, I’m at the cafe down the road. I’ll be there in five.” The line went dead.

John took a deep breath and paused before putting the phone back on the desk. What the _fuck_ kind of whirlwind disaster did he just talk to? Shaking his head, John looked to the small boy next to him. 

“Hey Philip, your dad is on the way!” John called, plastering another cheerful smile on his face. 

Philip raised his head and locked his far too tired looking eyes with John’s. 

“Work again?” 

“He get caught up a lot?”

Philip nodded, far too solemn for his small frame. 

“Yeah. It’s okay. He’s very, very important.”

All at once, John felt a weird camaraderie with this five year old, more than he did with even his coworkers. He got it. A workaholic dad, far too busy and important to deal with the inconvenience of children. Henry Laurens was the same. Throwing John aside, signing him up for every extracurricular and placing near unrealistic expectations onto his shoulders. John’s heart ached for this little boy, and was determined to give Alexander Hamilton a piece of his mind. 

Both boys sat side by side, and were lost in thought when real life tornado Alexander stumbled into the studio. It is clear all at once that Hamilton is _nothing_ like Henry Laurens.

“Oh my God, Pip. I am so sorry.” Hamilton ran to Philip and lifted him into a hug. 

“Daddy, you’re squeezing me too hard,” Philip squeaked. The out of breath man didn’t let go immediately but when he did, he placed Philip next to him, hand making its way to the boy’s hair. 

“Oh,” he laughed, a sound that should _not_ have made butterflies erupt in John’s stomach. “Sorry, Pip.” 

Alexander was getting far too comfortable with forgiveness, in John’s opinion. He cleared his throat, leveling his most intense glare at the other man. 

Alexander only responded with the disarming grin of a man familiar with charming his way in and out of situations. 

“Hi. John Laurens, right?” He extended his hand. 

“Yes.” Tight. Displeased. 

The tone made Alex stutter for a moment, blinking fast and dropping his hand. He recovered quickly enough, letting out a full body laugh.

“Lord, your disappointed glare is worse than ‘Liza’s. Is she still here? I’m sure she’d love a chance to yell at me again.” 

John kept his arms crossed, ready to begin a lecture of his own but Philip cut in. 

“She had to teach another class, daddy,” he said, moving his father’s gaze to him. Alexander visibly relaxed, grateful for the chance to avoid consequences for his slip up. 

“Alexander. Hamilton.” Eliza’s voice was ice, standing in the doorway of the main studio. She matched John in crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows in clear disapproval.

“Fuck.” Alex’s shoulders went up to his ears, immediately defensive. 

“How many times must we go over this?” Eliza scolded. “If you cannot finish your work in time to pick up your son, you should not have started it in the first place.” 

Alex put his hands up in a placating manner and had the common sense to look sheepish. “I know, I know.”

“You know and yet you continue to do so, Alexander,” she continued. “That’s a bit worse don’t you think? I won’t hesitate to have Maria ban you from her shop again.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. 

“Oh please don’t, she makes the best coffee and it’s the only place that carries apple cider donuts all year round,” he begged. 

John started to feel a bit like an intruder as Eliza continued to upbraid Alex for being an “inconsiderate child”. It was clear to him that this was a far too common occurrence and he decided right then that he would _not_ allow it to continue. That thought process was only strengthened when Philip wandered over to his side and placed his head on John’s leg. John pet Philip’s mop of curls, heart melting when Philip hummed. 

“You okay, jelly bean?” he whispered. 

Philip nodded, his small face twisting with a yawn. 

“You’re new, Mr. John,” Philip said, smiling up at him. “This happens every week.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you saw what this chapter was before:  
> no you didn't  
> cw: anxiety attack

Philip wasn’t lying when he said his dad was late every week. 

“I’m going to kill him,” John hisses, watching the clock on his desk advance forward. It’s only John’s second week and he’s already tired of Alexander’s shit. 

“You should not announce such things, mon ami,” the taller man standing beside him warned playfully. “Philip will be fine helping the older class with their costumes.” 

“Oh yeah. Sure, Laf, might as well hire him as another assistant,” John muttered.

Before Lafayette could respond, Peggy walked in with a handful of costumes. 

“Uh oh, someone’s grumpy. Today,” she says in a sing-song voice. JOhn looked up sharply, very close to snapping back at her. Just then, Peggy’s boyfriend, Hercules came up behind her. Not in the mood to upset Peggy and have Hercules kick his ass, he took a deep inhale through his nose. 

“Alexander is late again,” he said through clenched teeth. Lafayette placed a hand on John’s shoulder. 

“We have known our Alexander for years,” he begins. “It is not worth it to stress over his lateness, he is unlikely to change.” 

Hercules hums in agreement. 

“Alex is everyone’s lovable workaholic, Johnny boy.” John twitched at the nickname but held his tongue. 

“He’s a lost cause as far as lateness goes,” Hercules continues. “He’ll wander in eventually.”

“I’m gonna drag him here by his damn ear,” John growled. He got up in a huff, ready to storm to the cafe down the street. Lafayette grabbed his arm gently, opening their mouth to intervene. 

“You can always call ‘Ria and have her shoo him over here,” Peggy suggests. John hadn’t met Maria yet, but the cafe owner didn’t seem like the type to get involved. 

Hercules snorted and readjusted the costumes in his arms. 

“So she can tell him she’s not Alex’s damn babysitter? She runs a coffee shop -” 

“Not a daycare,” Peggy finished with a roll of her eyes. She frowned, continuing. “We all do what we can for him, I don’t see why she refuses to play her part.”

“Margarita,” Lafayette started. 

“Ugh. Don’t call me that, Gilbert. I just think it’d nice if my sister in law didn’t enable his caffeine and work addiction.”

“Peggy! Hercules!” Eliza stuck her head into the reception area. “Costumes?” she questioned, raising her eyebrows impatiently. 

“Right here, ‘Liza,” Hercules replied, nudging his girlfriend into the studio. 

Lafayette sent a measured look John’s way. John didn’t notice, instead clenched his fist over and over, trying to even out his breathing. 

“I meant what I said, John.” 

John flinched, as if he hadn’t realized Lafayette was still standing next to him. 

“You can’t just give up on someone. Pip deserves better.” 

Lafayette looked sad for a moment before their face hardened. 

“Go take a walk, John. When Alexander comes in, we don’t need you fighting him.” 

John’s head snapped up and he readied himself for a fight. He faltered at the look in the other person’s eyes. He nodded, clenching his jaw. 

“You’re right. I’m going to get dinner down the block, do you want anything?” John was trying his best to save whatever face he might have left. Lafayette’s softening gaze gave him hope that he might have succeeded. 

“No, thank you, mon ami. Take a breath, I will cover you. If Alexander isn’t here when you get back, I will let you call him. If you promise to behave.”

John flushed at the implication that he couldn’t control himself. He nodded again, grabbing his bag and walking out the door. He needed some time to think about Alexander. He wasn’t wrong about Pip deserving better, deserving more than a childhood keeping his father afloat and pretending to be happy with empty promises. 

He was half tempted to walk to the coffee shop anyway and knock some sense into Alexander. He shook his head, dismissing the idea and turning in the opposite direction. He was going to figure Alexander out, whether Lafayette liked it or not, but first he needed to think. 

There was a story there, and John wasn’t going down that easily. 

***

Lafayette watched John stalk off and took a calming breath of their own. John was right about Alex, of course. They couldn’t keep letting him get away with forgetting his kid. But that didn’t quite change the fact that John wasn’t there when Alex got Pip. Didn’t understand the emotional and legal battle the lot of them fought to keep Pip in their care. Sighing, they took a seat in John’s vacant chair and placed their head in their hands. 

“Where’s Mr. John?” 

Pip’s small voice made Lafayette startle. They smiled at the boy and pulled them into their lap. Pip relaxed easily, sighing into Laf’s chest. Lafayette ran their hand through Pip’s curls. 

“He just went for a walk, mon petit caneton. He will be back soon.”

Pip nodded and burrowed further into Laf. He mumbled something Laf couldn’t catch. 

“Pardon?” They asked, laughing internally at the sweet little boy in their lap. Pip pulled his head up and looked at Lafayette. 

“He’s mad at daddy again?” 

Laf didn’t hold back their laugh this time and pet Pip’s head. 

“I am afraid so, mon petit.”

Pip nodded sagely. 

“Good. He makes daddy listen.”

An absolutely ridiculous thought, Alex listening to anyone. But it made Laf pause. Thinking back on the week, no one in the family had gotten a call from any of Pip’s instructors. John must have gotten to Alex a little bit if he had gone a whole week being on time.

“Does he now?” Lafayette prompted. 

“Uh huh! Daddy picked me up from art _and_ piano on time. And I was only late to school once!” Pip bounced in Laf’s lap, his eyes bright. 

“Impressive,” Laf drawled, finding a sad sort of humor in Pip’s low expectations of his father. 

There were times when Pip was so much like his father that it amazed Laf that anyone had ever doubted his parentage. The determined look on Pip’s face was a perfect reflection of Alex when he got an idea in his head. 

“Mr. John’s gotta be here so he can remind daddy to be on time,” Pip explained. “And then he can become my mommy for real.”

Before Lafayette could respond to _that_ revelation, Eliza stuck her head out of the studio again, searching for Pip. When her eyes landed on him in Laf’s lap, she frowned slightly. 

“Hey Pip. Still no sign of your daddy?” 

“No Auntie ‘Liza, but that’s okay! Cos Mr. John is on a walk and he’s gotta be here so he can make daddy in trouble.” 

Eliza’s expression shifted and she looked as if she couldn’t decide to laugh or to cry at the sweet boy’s innocent declaration. She shifted her gaze to Laf imploringly, but they just shrugged. Similar to Alex, there was no changing Pip’s mind when he decided that something just was. 

“Apparently our Alexander has been on time all but once this week,” Lafayette clarified in an attempt to provide the only context they had for this statement of Pip’s. 

“I see,” Eliza said, eyebrows raised. “And that’s because of Mr. John is it?” 

“Of course Auntie ‘Liza,” Pip declared. “Grown ups are so silly.” 

Just as Eliza opened her mouth to respond, the bell on the front door clanged loudly as Alex practically threw himself into the reception area. 

“I am _so_ sorry,” Alex began, out of breath and flushed. 

Eliza opened her mouth to start on her usual Alex Lecture but Pip was on him first, jumping from Laf’s lap. 

“Daddy!” he called. “Mr. John isn’t here right now so we gotta wait until he gets back,” he said, pulling his father to sit in one of the waiting room chairs. 

“John?” was all Alex was able to respond with. 

“Uh huh. You’re in big trouble mister, but Mr. John will fix it!” 

Alex glanced helplessly from laf to Eliza, feeling absolutely lost. 

“Pip is right, mon chou. Mr. John is _very_ cross with you,” Lafayette teased. Eliza only managed a small grin and crossed arms. 

“Is ‘Mr. John’ my keeper now?” Alex narrowed his eyes, defensive. A defensive Alex was a dangerous one, and Pip didn’t give anyone else a chance to reply.

“Hush, daddy. No a’posed to talk in time out,” the child lectured. Alex turned red and gaped incredulously at the bossy little one. He opened and closed his mouth, resembling a fish out of water while Pip just crossed his arms and gave his best attempt at Eliza’s Disappointed Glare. Recognizing a losing battle, Alex resigned to sitting in silence until John came back. Pip beamed, satisfied with his father’s bewildered obedience. 

“Well, it appears you have this handled, Pip,” Eliza said, impressed. She sent Alex one last warning look, and returned to her class. 

Pip placed himself back into Lafayette’s lap and closed his eyes, finally settling now that his father was back. Lafayette only hoped that John got back soon, because Alex looked miserable. 

***

Alex was miserable. He was late _again_ to pick up Pip and while he had prepared himself for a lecture, he hadn’t expected it to start with his son. It wasn’t like he was late on purpose. Tears of frustration filled his eyes but he quickly scrubbed them away. He fiddled with his cufflinks, guilt consuming his thoughts. 

Not for the first time, he thinks about how much better off Pip might have been if he had a better father. If Alex just let Annie and her family take him. Alex shrunk in on himself, trying to make himself smaller so the thoughts couldn’t reach him. It didn’t work. 

Alex hadn’t known the first thing about fatherhood at nineteen. When Pip was left at his door, Alex was preparing to combine a dangerous cocktail of Adderall and Redbull to speedrun his way through several people’s midterm papers, his included. Pip was so small back then, more fragile than anything Alex had ever seen. Alex didn’t know how to handle fragile. He did everything chaotic and half-cocked, rushing his way through life without considering others. Growing up jumping from foster home to shitty foster home, he didn’t have hope for meaningful relationships. His social circle was very small by design. Less people to disappoint, even less people to disappoint him. 

When Pip entered his world he was confronted with the reality that the tiny, fragile child was to be his everything. The chaos of sex, drugs, and caffeine couldn’t happen anymore. They didn’t happen anymore. Alex fought like hell to keep Pip and he wasn’t going to stop now. 

But he still couldn’t stop failing him. 

John brought up a shit his friends wouldn’t. They all know what it took to get to keep Pip. The sacrifices, the hours in court. Philip Schuyler had considered it his personal mission to use all of his political connections to keep his namesake with Alex. It was almost easy to excuse Alex for his behavior when they knew how much Pip means to him. 

The stubborn college student was right about one thing, Alex needed to change his behavior. And he did, for a little while. He got Pip to school on time and picked him up from all of his activities. He even cooked a meal that week with a vegetable. John couldn’t take Pip away from him, not after that. 

_Did_ John want to take Pip away from him?

For more than a brief moment, and not for the first time, Alex allowed himself the ridiculous thought that John might be one of Annie’s friends. His breath hitched. Oh god. What if he was? 

Getting close to Alex and Pip, making him question himself and his place as Pip’s father. It wouldn’t be the first time Annie tried to take the boy back using convoluted methods. He had to change preschools once because she had a friend start work at his first one to plan a kidnapping. 

He shook his head, pushing the memories of that terrifying week away from him. Eliza would never let that happen. Laf would kill John before he ever got his hands on Pip, Alex rationalized, trying to calm his steadily increasing heart rate. 

“Alexander.”

He barely registered Lafayette’s strong arms winding into his hair until they tugged sharply and Alex finally met their eyes.

“There you are, _mon chou._ I have been calling you.” Laf’s voice was soft but held steady, providing Alex with something tangible to ground himself to. 

“Where’s Pip?” Alex said after a pause, heart leaping into his throat. If Laf was kneeling in front of him, that meant Pip was no longer sleeping in their lap. 

“Shh, he is sleeping in the break room. You were getting worked up.” Lafayette pulled at Alex’s hair again, causing his eyes to close and a sigh to escape his lips. Grounded. 

“Sorry. Was thinking about Annie,” he admitted softly. “Stupid brain was trying to convince me that John worked for her and that he was gonna take Pip away.” 

Laf exhaled through their teeth, and for a brief moment the carefully crafted mask of steady strength burned into rage. As quickly as it had left, the mask returned and Laf moved their hand to stroke Alex’s cheek. 

“I would _never_ allow that to happen, Alexander. I am sure Eliza checked him out before hiring him, but I can have John Laurens removed immediately if he has made you feel this way, _mon ami”_

“No! No, it’s okay. He hasn’t. He seems to actually want me to be better,” Alex explained. “I just have dumb anxiety.”

“Your anxiety is not dumb, Alexander. You will say no such thing,” Lafayette scolded. Alex flushed and ducked his head. 

“Right. Not dumb. Sometimes irrational, but valid all the same,” Alex recited. It was a lesson he had gone over with Lafayette, Eliza, and Aaron many times back in college. 

“Exactly, _mon cherie._ Do you want to talk about the thoughts or banish them?” Laf rubbed a tear from Alex’s face and held it up on their index finger. Alex laughed at the reminder of the semi-childish ritual they had developed in the early days of raising Pip: grabbing the ‘Bad Feelings’ out of the tears and flicking them away, banishing them forever. 

“Probably best to banish them. It’s all the same doubts I always have.”

“Ah. Those naughty self doubts keep coming back. We must banish them at once.” With that dramatic declaration, Laf flicked the tear off their finger and placed kisses on Alex’s eyelids. 

“Thank you, Laf,” Alex breathed, shoulders sagging, the weight of his own unbridled thoughts no longer burdening him, at least for now. 

“Always, _mon soleil._ Would you like to bring Pip home? I can let John know that you came back and Pip was tired.”

“Please. I’ll - I’ll call him tomorrow, maybe buy him lunch,” Alex said, standing up and rubbing his hands on his suit jacket. “Thank him for his concern.” He nodded to himself and took a deep breath, scrubbing the leftover tears from his face. Lafayette stood with him, giving him a moment of space before pulling him into a tight hug. 

“ _You and Pip mean more to us than you can ever imagine, Alexander. Get some rest, tomorrow is a new day.”_ Lafayette mumbled the French words into Alex’s hair, holding him close. 

_“I know, Lafayette. Thank you, I love you all so much.”_ Pulling back, Alex went to the break room and watched his son’s slow breaths. 

It was going to be a co-sleeping night, that was for sure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to check out the other stories in this verse!  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he would leave the interaction with his job intact.
> 
> Although, after being caught threatening to punch his boss’ best friend? Maybe he should be more concerned about his freedom. And or his limbs. 

When John arrived back at the studio, Laf was alone at the desk. The waiting area was empty of parents as only the older class was running. 

“Where’s Pip?” John asked. Laf barely looked up. 

“Alexander took him home.”

“Alex was here? He came on his own?” 

Lafayette only nodded, writing absently and feigning nonchalance. It made John’s blood boil. 

“What happened to letting me handle it?” Laf only raised an unimpressed eyebrow. 

“I made no such promises, John Laurens,” they responded. John clenched his fists and inhaled sharply.

“You told me to take a walk to calm down!”

“Yes. And clearly, you have failed.” John’s yelling was piercing holes in Lafayette’s cool exterior. 

“Only because you let him waltz in here and leave again without consequences!” Any feigned calm Lafayette was holding was dropped immediately as they stalked towards John. 

“Consequences?” Laf said dangerously. “You think you know Alexander and his motivations but you do not.” They crowded into John’s space, pushing him up against the wall next to the desk. 

Not one to step down easily, John only snorted. 

“I know the type.” 

Laf responded with a humorless laugh. 

“And what ‘type’ is Alexander? Hm? Does this ‘type’ you accuse him of being have an anxiety attack from the thought of his son being taken away from him?”

John paused, attempting to step back but stopped by the wall Laf had him near-pinned against. 

“Anxiety attack? Is he okay?” 

“That is not any of your business.” 

“Jeez Lafayette, I care about the man. I’m not some monster. And I sure as hell don’t want him to lose Pip,” John practically yelled.

“Stay out of Alexander’s business if you cannot control your temper.” Laf’s eyes flashed and they placed their hand on John’s throat, no pressure, just a warning. John looked down at the hand on his throat incredulously but didn’t point out Laf’s hypocrisy. 

“I can control myself,” he hissed through clenched teeth. Lafayette pressed their thumb into John’s pulse point, smirking. 

“Clearly.”

John growled and pushed against Laf’s hand but found himself effectively trapped. 

“Fuck off. You know _nothing_ about me.”

“And you know nothing of Alexander,” Lafayette pushed harder still on John’s neck and released. “Yet you make so many assumptions.”

“Based on actions!” John yelled, emboldened by the hand no longer on his neck. 

Laf cocked their head at John’s declaration. 

“And what of your actions, John Laurens?” 

“ _My_ actions?” 

“Storming in and out of here like a petulant child.” John twitched at the insult. Laf continued. “Like one of the small dancers that come through here who have not gotten their way.”

John only scoffed and knocked his head against the wall behind him. Lafayette had stepped back but John didn’t try to slip away. 

“No?” Laf questioned. “Alex will not bend to your will so you resort to threats and angry stomping. What better description than a childish temper tantrum?”

“Oh _fuck_ you, Lafayette,” John practically shouted, attempting to shove Laf away. Laf didn’t even flinch. They took a step forward, pushing their knee into John’s hip and leaned close to his ear. 

“ _Puéril._ ” 

Something snapped in John and he snarled, pushing Lafayette hard enough to shock them. He wrestled Laf against the wall and drew his fist back, blindly enraged and completely unthinking. 

“What the hell is going on out here?” It was Aaron. John jumped, breath catching. He released Laf, putting his fist behind his back and jumping away. Lafayette swallowed audibly and looked at the ground. 

Aaron looked livid. He stalked over to the fighting hotheads and stepped into the space John left in between them. 

“Well?” Aaron hissed, his usually cool facial expression long gone. He was glaring daggers at Lafayette but Laf’s eyes remained downcast. 

“Um-” John started but Aaron cut him off with a hand. 

“Not you. I’m asking Lafayette.” 

Laf still didn’t look up, splotches of red rising on their face. Aaron waited a beat, giving Laf a chance they’re too stubborn to take. 

“Very well. Go to my office and wait for me. You’ll have another chance to explain yourself when I get back.”

Laf nodded minutely and disappeared into the breakroom leading to the office Eliza and Aaron shared. John only gaped like a fish out of water, suddenly very overwhelmed by Aaron’s intimidating presence. 

“You’re done for the day John. Collect your things, I’ll take you home.”

“It’s only eight, sir. I have an hour left,” John protested, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Amelia can cover you,” Aaron said, already waving the dance assistant in from the floor. 

“Aaron I can’t afford to leave early. Please let me finish the shift,” John begged.

Aaron’s eyes softened and he put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“You’ll be paid for your whole shift. I’m not sure what happened, but I know tensions have been high.”

John relaxed marginally but he still felt apprehensive. Amelia, who had walked in and settled at the desk, shot him a gentle look. 

“I can take myself home. You don’t need to come.”

Aaron’s responding smile was indulgent, 

“You’re not getting out of trouble that easily, John. I did walk in on you with your fist up, threatening one of my oldest friends.”

John flushed, embarrassed at the reminder of his temper. 

“I don’t live far,” John mumbled. “It’s a few blocks.”

“That’s good. I could use the fresh air.”

With that, John grabbed his bag from behind the desk and led the way out the door of Sunshine, feeling very much like a condemned man. 

Maybe he would leave the interaction with his job intact.

Although, after being caught threatening to punch his boss’ best friend? Maybe he should be more concerned about his freedom. And or his limbs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gods, fucking finally.   
> If you see, I've updated the chapter count, and I have them loosely planned out.  
> Turns out this is a slow burn, considering I've been on the same day the past four chapters and will continue until like chapter eight.  
> Please let me know what you think! I thrive on comments, even if it's an "oof".  
> I don't know when the next chapter will be out, but since they're more planned now, hopefully, my posting schedule will be better.  
> Thank you team!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Pip eat dinner and get ready for bed.

When Pip woke up, it was to his daddy staring at him from the doorway of the side room in his dance studio. Odd. He didn’t remember falling asleep. 

“Hi Daddy,” he said, yawning and stretching up into his arms. 

“Hi baby,” Daddy responded. His voice was crackly, it made Pip worry. He looked up at his Daddy and saw that his eyes were all puffy and red. His hands were shaking even as he held Pip and walked him into the other room. They both waved goodbye to Laf and Pip leaned into the hand Laf put in his hair. 

“Bye-bye Laf.”

_“Bonne nuit, mon caneton.”_

After Laf hugged them both, Daddy carried Pip to the car and put him in his car seat.

His hands hadn’t stopped shaking, white knuckles clenching and unclenching on the steering wheel. The drive home was miserable on a normal day, but Daddy hadn’t even started the radio yet. Something was wrong. 

Pip began to chew on his knuckles, a stress response he unfortunately got from his father. Daddy didn’t stop him. He started to bleed. Icky, Auntie ‘Liza would be upset. He sat on the offending hand and absently put his other one up to his teeth. 

***

It took Alex several moments to even start the car, his head full of residual panic and paralyzing self doubt. After buckling Pip into his carseat Alex took a moment outside to take a few more breaths. Laf was helpful, but Alex would be dealing with the aftershocks of the anxiety attack for hours. 

He put his head on the steering wheel briefly and then started the car. Turning to look behind him before pulling out of his spot, Alex noticed Pip’s fingers in his mouth. 

“Pip, baby, fingers. Where’s your necklace?” Eliza bought Pip a chew necklace in the shape of a sunflower when he first developed a need to bite on everything. It was similar to one she bought Alex in his first year of college after she discovered holes in his t-shirts and realized how much he spent on bandaids for his hands. 

Pip’s eyes got wide and he blinked slowly as he processed his dad’s question. He moved his hand away from his mouth and let out a soft “Oh!” before patting his chest and retrieving his necklace from his shirt. 

Alex watched Pip sleepily put the flower into his mouth and his heart clenched. His boy was far too perceptive to not notice his father’s unsteady walk and wobbling voice on the way to the car. 

“Hey Pips, how about we get some chicken nuggets for dinner?” McDonald’s was a rare treat for the two of them, with the meals Aaron forced onto him twice a week and Eliza’s lectures on nutrition in children, especially dancers. 

“McDonald’s!” Pip cried, dropping the chew necklace and shooting his father a toothy grin. 

Alex smiled back at him and finally pulled out of the studio’s parking lot. McDonald’s was a salty comfort for both of them and damn it if Alex didn’t deserve some fries.

***

Back home Pip sat on the center island of their kitchen, hiding his fingers under his sweatpants and kicking his legs, waiting for Daddy to take their food out of the bags. 

“Coat off Pips, gotta wash your hands,” Daddy reminded him, reaching his hands out to take his jacket. Pip hummed and pulled his arms out his sleeves and handed his coat over.

“Sweetheart, your hand is bleeding.” 

Pip gasped and yanked his hand away from his daddy. 

“Um. No it isn’t?” He said sweetly, trying to bury his hand back under his leg. “Let’s wash up Daddy! Nuggets might get cold.”

“Philip. Give me your hand, my love. We have to clean it up before we eat.” Daddy’s voice was soft and steady but his eyes were glassy. Oh. He was worried about _him._

“Okay Daddy,” he said, bringing his hand out slowly. “I’m sorry I bit it.”

“Oh Pip, baby, it’s alright. We just gotta remember the necklace next time, yeah?” 

Pip nodded, still unsure if Daddy was mad at him. 

“And,” Daddy continued, “talk to me when you’re upset, baby.” He brought Pip’s hands to the sink on the kitchen island and cleaned his knuckles with the soap on the counter. 

“Stings,” Pip whispered, pushing his head into his daddy’s shoulder. 

“I know, I know. We’ll get you some band-aids and eat our dinner, yeah?” 

“Fishy band-aids?” Pip asked hopefully. Daddy laughed and kissed Pip’s fingers as he dried them. 

“Of course fishy band-aids, sweetheart.” 

***

Once Alex finished putting the fish band-aids on his son’s hands, Pip wrapped them around his neck and _clung._ Alex had no choice but to share a seat with him at the head of the table. 

“Pips, what toy did you get from your Happy Meal?” he asked when the pair finally got around to opening up their food. 

He mumbled something unintelligible around his chew necklace making Alex laugh. 

“Oh? I’ve never heard of that super hero.”

“Wonder Woman,” Pip giggled, holding up his toy for Alex to see. 

“Ah. Now I’ve heard of _that_ super hero. Is she gonna eat your apple slices or are you?”

“Daddy!” Pip huffed. “This Wonder Woman is a toy. She can’t eat anything.” He grabbed one of the apple slices and munched on it, holding his new Wonder Woman toy in his other hand. 

Alex looked down at his son and kissed his head. A gentle little boy with far too much going inside his mind. It pained Alex that his son had to bear the burden of Alex’s overactive emotions along with his own chaotic brain. ADHD was a menace, but Pip was lucky to have a father who could relate to him. 

He briefly allowed himself a moment to think about what it would have been like if him and Annie had worked out and then snorted derisively. Annie was vindictive, impatient, and spoiled. She would have never been able to care for Pip. Never would have understood his tics and stims, not like Alex could. He held Pip a little bit tighter. 

Alex’s thoughts were interrupted when the small body in his arms shuddered with a yawn. They would have to do bath time in the morning, or maybe after school, he amended when Pip shook with a second yawm. 

“Alright angel. Let’s get you to bed.” 

Pip only hummed in response.

***

Daddy cleaned up the bags from their dinner with Pip still holding onto him. It made their usual night routine a bit difficult but Pip was feeling very clingy since noticing his daddy’s distress. 

“We’re gonna do bath time tomorrow. Pips. I’m pooped,” he heard his daddy say, putting him down on his bed. “Let’s get you into some pjs and you can sleep in my bed tonight, sound good?”

“M’kay Daddy,” was the only response he could manage. He didn’t open his eyes as Daddy helped him into pajamas and picked him back up. Daddy pressed something soft into Pip’s hands and he opened one eye to see his stuffed turtle staring back at him. 

“Is Winston,” he mumbled. 

“Yes, can Winston join us tonight? Thought maybe we needed some extra comfort.” 

Pip nodded and rubbed his face into the soft back of his turtle. Daddy needed the extra comfort, just like Pip got every night from Winston. He was more than okay with that.

***

Alex put Pip down on to the bed and changed into a pair of soft sweatpants and an old NYU t-shirt he got from his boss after a very late night at work. It was one of his very few comfort items he let himself hold onto. 

He looked down at Pip curled up around the stuffed turtle Eliza bought for him from the New York Aquarium when he was two. Pip fell in love with the sea turtles, giggling and reaching for them in the giant tank at the back of the park. It was only logical for them to get him the creature and he’s been attached ever since. 

A shuddery sigh rippled through him and he had to brace himself on his dresser. It had been a long day. Time was getting harder and harder to keep track of and his anxiety had been nearly unmanageable. The pretty, freckle-faced man working the front desk of _Ballet of Sunshine_ was not making his scatterbrain much better. _God._

Alex was usually late to pick up Pip, but either Laf or Aaron were usually there to make sure Pip was okay when he finally made it around. Someone was always picking up the slack. Sure, they all lectured him and warned him that it couldn’t happen again, but, well it always happens again anyway. No wonder John thought he was a shitty father. 

Alex shook his head to clear it. No good thinking the same thoughts that started his anxiety attack in the first place. John was just some kid who knew nothing of what happened in the past. He had no ulterior motive; he just cared about Pip. They had that in common. A small part of Alex’s brain wondered what else the two of them might have in common. He cleared his head again and rubbed a hand down his face. 

“Time for bed, Hamilton,” he mumbled, making his way over to where his son was sleeping soundly. He pulled the blankets back and settled next to Pip, kissing his forehead and running a hand through his curls. The boy sighed and burrowed himself deeper into his father’s side. 

Tomorrow would be a better day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. That's the longest chapter I have EVER written. I have done entire stories shorter than this chapter.   
> Anyway, sorry it was so late, but I hope it was worth it. This might be my favorite chapter of the entire story.   
> Alex is realizing some feelings for the cute boy at the front desk, and some things are mentioned that open up the world a bit more.   
> Please let me know what you think!  
> Cheers,   
> Sid


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is A LOT longer than my usual chapters but I think it's just my style changing maybe?  
> School just started up again so I actually expect I'll be writing more to avoid my work.   
> I turn 20 tomorrow and I wanted to get this out today so I wouldn't have to worry about it.   
> Enjoy some John and Aaron content! (plus bonus John and his sister interaction)

Aaron was a patient man. He had to be between managing the interpersonal relations of his college roommates and dealing with the entitled parents that came through _Ballet of Sunshine._

Nobody quite tested that patience like Lafayette. 

They had an unfortunate gift of knowing exactly how to get under everyone’s skin. Aaron couldn’t imagine what they did to frustrate John enough to raise his fists. There was no excuse for John allowing his temper to control his actions, but Aaron knew the receptionist had a high tolerance for stress, especially considering he worked with the same entitled parents Aaron did.

No, there was no denying Lafayette’s role in the little display earlier. 

Aaron looked over at the young man walking next to him and noticed his jaw clenching and unclenching in time with his steps. He must still be seething from the fight and Aaron wanted to give him a moment to collect himself before he explained. He would get the story from Lafayette too, the full one, if Laf knew what was good for them. 

But John’s say mattered here. Although Aaron wasn’t around much for their interactions, Theo had told him that the children considered John Pip’s mommy, so the young man had made it into their little family whether he liked it or not. It takes a village to raise a child, especially one who’s faced as much as little Philip. Someone had to head up that village, and it had been Aaron ever since their time at university.

Unfortunately for John that meant answering to Aaron when things went sideways. John would be allowed to say his piece and then Aaron would handle it, as it’s always been. So Aaron allowed John his time to stew in his own thoughts. 

He was a patient man. 

***

John never really did well with long periods of silence. His father was a big fan of ignoring his problems until they went away, and after losing Eleanor he seemed to view all five of his children as his problems. The silent treatment was a familiar and emotionally taxing experience. 

His jaw was aching within the first few minutes and he couldn’t stop his hands from balling into fists over and over again. He wasn’t quite sure why Aaron insisted on walking him home before firing him. It just seemed cruel. 

_“You’re not getting out of trouble that easily.”_

John started to feel queasy. Oh God. Was Aaron going to _hurt_ him? He shook his head. No way. That’s irrational, Aaron has never presented himself as a violent person. 

_Unlike you,_ a cruel voice in his head hissed at him. His steps stuttered as he tripped over a jutted out piece of sidewalk. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a breath to steady himself. 

They were getting close to his apartment and Aaron had yet to say a single word. It made John fidget some more, tugging on the strings of his sweatshirt. Maybe if he explained himself Aaron would be less pissed. He didn’t even look all that mad anymore.

But Aaron had only asked Lafayette. 

It made sense he supposed. The lot of them went to college together and shared an apartment for a while. Eliza had explained very briefly how _Sunshine_ came to be and it was no secret that they all shared _something_ more intimate than just casual roommates. He’d only had the job a little over a week, it’s embarrassing to be fired so soon. 

It’d be difficult to get another job, and he could hardly afford to be unemployed after his most recent fight with his father. 

_“An art major? After everything I’ve done for you?”_

John flinched at the memory of their last argument. 

_“You’re behaving like a child. Don’t ask for a thing until you remember your place in this family.”_

That was nearly a year ago now and his savings had run dry. This job was one of the best paying ones with a consistent schedule and the loss of it would be devastating. 

He wished Aaron would just get it over with and fire him. 

John never did well with the silent treatment.

***

Ever perceptive of changes in body language, Aaron became increasingly aware of John’s growing distress. Years with Alexander helped him identify the indicators of an anxiety attack and John was dangerously close to some kind of spiral. 

He allowed himself a moment to wonder what was playing through John’s head. Aaron had caught him threatening to bodily harm a coworker, and he didn’t even seem to realize it was happening. That lack of self control in the moment must be getting to him. 

After hearing John take yet another deep breath, Aaron decided to open up the floor. 

“Would you like to explain what happened back there, John?”

The flinch that John gave in response worried Aaron, but he didn’t say anything. John shrugged it off and opened and closed his mouth a few times. 

“My apartment isn’t much farther.” John’s voice was small and he jutted his tense jaw in what Aaron assumed was the direction of his place. 

Avoidance. Not an unfamiliar tactic and one Aaron was quite familiar with. The way John shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at his feet reminded Aaron so much of Lafayette he almost laughed. How similar the two of them were. Both had a fierce protectiveness and an uncanny ability to do absolutely everything to avoid talking things through while insisting others do just that. 

“Is that a no then?” 

John looked at Aaron, unseeing. 

“What?” 

It would be absolutely inappropriate to laugh. Clearly he had worked himself up far too much to have any coherent discussion without Aaron leading him. 

Before he could ask the question again, John stopped in front of a small brown building and relaxed for a moment. Ah. Perhaps he was waiting to discuss it upstairs. 

“Shall we continue this upstairs?”

Or perhaps he had hoped Aaron would drop it once they got to his apartment, Aaron surmised from John retensed posture. 

***

John hadn’t expected to have any guests over at his apartment, especially not one of his bosses in the middle of the week. He fumbled a few times opening the door to the building and dropped his keys twice opening his own apartment door. He had to kick a pair of pants under the coffee table and clear his couch of all of his school books to make room for Aaron. 

It was strange to have someone in his place that wouldn’t be in his life for much longer. Especially since he wasn’t going to sleep with him. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Maybe some more delay tactics, John, that’ll be great for your head. 

“I think it’s best we stop avoiding the issue, John.”

Right. Aaron was going to fire him now. Maybe Charlie was around to drink with and to let John fuck his brains out. That’d be good. It’d make his hands stop shaking and help him feel somewhat in control of something before he had to beg his father for forgiveness and rent money. 

“Are you listening to me?”

Huh? Oh, right. It’d probably be better if he paid attention to Aaron firing him.

“Yeah. I get it. Makes sense that you have to fire me. Can’t have some out of control guy workin’ ‘round kids.”

“What the hell are you talking about John?”

“I behaved poorly. Irrational. You have to fire me, I get it. Just please stop trying to understand what happened. It won’t change anything,” John spoke slowly but ran his hands through his curls. 

“Oh John,” Aaron’s voice was soft. Pity. John flinched, closing himself off. 

“Don’t,” John put his hand out, cutting Aaron off. “I’m an adult, I can handle it.”

“John I’m not firing you.” Aaron ran a hand down his face. 

John felt his stomach twist oddly. 

“What?”

Aaron laughed and it sent a spark of anger through John. He just experienced all five stages of grief over something that wasn’t even happening and Aaron was _laughing_? If John hadn’t believed himself in trouble for nearly punching someone not even fifteen minutes prior he might have swung at him.

***

It was an entirely inappropriate time for Aaron to laugh. The series of expressions that fluttered across John’s face reminded him so much of his beloved friend he just had to. John and Gil spent so much time wrapped in their own thoughts that when they finally figured things out - it was hard to hide. 

“John. You’re not going to be fired the one time you’ve lost your temper,”Aaron assured the younger man. 

“You found me with my fist up. You have to fire me.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. 

“Are you trying to convince me to fire you?”

“No! God no. I just -” John paused and took a breath, readjusting his posture. “Why aren’t you firing me?”

“Lafayette can be absolutely insufferable when they want to be,” Aaron said with a smile. John appeared unconvinced. 

“I should have controlled myself.”

“Yes,” Aaron allowed. “And Laf deliberately found a pressure point to push you to extremes. They’re very protective of Alex. We all are.” He explained. From what he heard from Eliza, Alex had a pretty bad anxiety attack after John stormed out. Gil would’ve viewed John as the only trigger and therefore something to be eliminated. 

They weren’t the most reasonable person in their little family. 

“I’m not a threat to Alex,” John said, voice an octave higher and mouth pinched in a sharp line. “I just care about Pip.”

“That much is clear, John.” Aaron sighed. “We’ve all been through a lot, especially when it comes to Alex and Pip.” He had to admit that the family had been treating Alex less and less like a capable adult the more time that passed. 

“My youngest sister, Mary, she’s only a few years older than Pip.” 

Aaron nodded. John’s fierce care for Pip and concern over Alex’s behavior made more sense now. 

“You’re protective too. Understandable. You and Laf have a lot in common.”

“Absolutely not.” John scoffed.

Aaron tilted his head and tried a different tactic. 

“What did they say to you?” 

John paused, tugging on their sweatshirt strings before taking a steadying breath. 

“They called me childish,” he responded, shrugging.

***

Aaron was going to think he was ridiculous. Of course Lafayette called him childish, and then he went and proved it by losing his temper. 

Absolutely ridiculous. 

“I see,” Aaron said. 

John flushed and he felt compelled to further explain his frustrations. 

“I’m not a child. I can handle myself. I raised all four of my siblings after my mother-” John cut himself off, eyes widening at what he shared. 

“Ah. I understand.”

“No offense, but I doubt that,” John responded, barely holding back an eye roll.

“It was just me, when I lost my parents,” Aaron started. “It’s different, but I can relate.”

John softened, feeling a kinship form between himself and Aaron. 

“You lost both your parents?”

“I was young,” Aaron confirmed, nodding his head once. “I know the feeling. World on your shoulders, heavy weight of responsibility. Living up to their image.”

“I had to be everything my mother was.”

“Honoring her legacy.”

“Legacy,” John echoed, voice barely above a whisper. 

“You’re a good man, John Laurens. Don’t let Lafayette make you forget that.” Aaron put a hand on John’s shoulder and he leaned into the touch. The weight of the day seemed to seep out of him through the contact. 

“You barely know me, Aaron.”

“Pip thinks you hung the moon. That’s good enough for me,” the older man said. “And it’ll be good enough for Lafayette.” 

A pause. “Eventually.” 

John couldn’t help but laugh, feeling much lighter than he did when they first entered his apartment. 

“Pip’s a child that’s only met me twice,” he pointed out. 

“And in that time you’ve allowed him your secret stash of snacks, let him sit with you while waiting for his father, and given him a nickname. Face it, the kid has adopted you.”

“He’s a character,” John said with a fond smile. “Like his father.”

“Alex is certainly an experience,” Aaron agreed.

That was an understatement.With his charming smile and a whirlwind of energy, Alex’s likeness has graced many pages of John’s sketchbook since he first met the man. 

“He really is.”

“Stick around, John, get to know him more than just by his bad habits.”

John’s smile faded, remembering something Lafayette had said about how Alex responded to John’s behavior. 

“Lafayette mentioned Alex having an anxiety attack. I - I don’t want to stress him out any more.”

“For the first time in a long time, Alex is being held accountable for his chronic lateness,” Aaron started. “I hate to admit it but accountability might be the better option than whatever the hell excuses we’ve been making.” 

“Still,” John grimaced,” there are better ways to hold him accountable than me getting angry. I should have more patience.” 

Both of his brothers had ADHD, after all. He knew better than most how difficult time blindness could be for them. 

“You will. Give it some time.”

“Thank you, Aaron,” John said earnestly. “For giving me another chance.”

“You deserve it John,” the older man matched his tone. “Just remember it’s not some burden you have to bear. We’re all in this together, okay?”

John laughed.

“You got it, High School Musical,” he said, giving Aaron a thumbs up. 

Aaron cocked his head to the side and scrunched his face up, confused. 

“What?”

John looked at him incredulously. 

“No. Come on! You’re not even _that_ old dude.”

Aaron feigned offense, putting a hand on his chest. 

“Excuse me?”

“You’re screwing with me, right?” John nodded to himself. “Yeah. You gotta be.”

“Come here.”

John immediately sobered, putting his hands up defensively.

“I didn’t mean to call you old.”

“For a hug, John,” Aaron assured the younger man. “I am going to hug you, and then I am going to go make sure Lafayette leaves you alone. And regrets the amount of pushing they did.” Aaron’s mouth had thinned into a tense line and John practically felt the simmering frustration radiating from him. 

He allowed the other man to pull him into a hug and felt the pressure and excitement of the day melt away. In the warmth of Aaron’s arms he felt his sense of control return to him. His skin felt like his own again and he leaned into the touch as much as physically possible. 

It had been ages since he’d gotten a hug from someone and he felt tears sting the back of his eyes and his nose burned. 

Maybe he’d be okay, at least for a little while. He wasn’t losing his job and he had gained a family. 

The strong arms wrapped around him reminded him for a moment of the way Laf had shoved him against the wall. They were _pissed_ , but not as pissed as Aaron seemed to be. 

He felt a very sudden concern for Lafayette’s well being after all of this. 

“Go easy on them,” he mumbled into Aaron’s shoulder. “I was an ass too.” 

There. That would do it. Now he can enjoy the warmth without worry. 

Well, until Aaron held him out at arms length and gave him a _look_. John made a small, distressed noise in the back of his throat. 

“What happens between Gil and I is our business. I have known them for many years, John. Your concern is adorable and unnecessary.” 

John squirmed at the word choice. Nodding stiffly he ducked away from Aaron’s arms.

“Got it,” he swallowed. “Thank you again. Seriously.”

***

John Laurens had very quickly wormed his way into Aaron’s heart. The second he felt the younger man melt into his arms Aaron decided that John needed a lot more hugs. 

His concern for the person that pushed him to near violence only warmed Aaron to him more. 

Should John and Laf ever become close, they could become quite the protective force. Seeing John shudder, Aaron decided to wrap up their conversation to let the boy rest. 

“Goodnight John. I’ll see you tomorrow?” If John wanted to take a break, Aaron had no problem giving him a paid day off. Hell, he’d pay John from his own pocket should he need that day. 

“Yep! 10 am to 2 pm, then off to a watercolor class. Woo.” John gave a sarcastic little hand wave that made Aaron want to laugh again. 

“Sounds riveting,” he responded, matching John’s not-so-excited tone. He stepped out of John’s apartment and into the hall, closing his coat a little tighter in preparation for the chill. 

“Absolutely,” John nodded, holding the door open. “Night Aaron.”

Staring at the now closed apartment, Aaron allowed himself a deep sigh. Beginning the trek back to his place of work, Aaron took the time to consider what Lafayette might be thinking, and what ways he might have to settle the buzzing energy they felt when they went a little extreme in their protectiveness. 

It was going to be a long evening. 

***

Bracing himself on his front door, John took the first real breath since he was caught threatening Lafayette. 

He still felt the heat from Aaron’s hug and he wrapped his arms around himself and went to the kitchen to pour himself a drink. 

Moments later he found himself abandoning a glass and drinking cheap wine while sitting on his kitchen floor. 

“If you could see me now, team,” he said to the wrinkled picture of him and his siblings he had taped to his fridge. Martha would lecture his ear off if she found out about his little display at work. At 14 years old she had already grown into everything that was good about their mother, including her impeccable lecturing skills. 

Pulling out his cell he dialed the number to the phone he bought for the children after a particularly rough evening with their father. 

“Jacky?” Martha’s soft voice was a balm to his frayed nerves. 

“Heya Patsy. How’s everything?”

“Just peachy.” He could practically hear the eye roll. 

“Jemmy and Polly behaving?”

“John.” 

He swallowed thickly. She never let him get away with avoiding shit. 

“Had a rough day at work.” 

He began describing his week in detail. Everything from his Advanced Color Theory class to the little Alex doodles that littered his books. 

After an hour of back and forth, John’s sides hurt from laughter and his chest felt lighter. 

“Alright. I think it’s about time you head off to bed, Patsy.”

“Yes mother,” Martha droned, a grin evident in her voice. 

“Thank you for easing my mind, Martha. You mean more to me than anything.”

“Go rest, John. You get all sappy and gross when you’re tired.”

Hanging up, John resealed the barely touched wine and stood up with a stretch and jaw-splitting yawn. 

It had been a long night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!  
> (also please tell me if it's confusing cos I am so unused to this many words I'm worried that it doesn't make any sense asgdhkls)  
> Cheers!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Alex forced another eye roll out of Charlie, the assistant’s eye would roll right onto the floor.

It was a small miracle that Alex managed to get Pip up and to school on time the next morning. Pip demanded to bring Winston and Alex couldn't bring himself to remind him that his school doesn’t allow external toys. 

They didn’t have time for a proper breakfast but Aaron always sent him home with pre prepared meals and for once Alex was grateful for the reheatable egg and pepper muffins in his freezer. 

Pip was always chatty in the mornings and Alex was happy to see that he was back to his cheerful self. Pip was far too affected by shifts in his father's emotions so it was as much a reflection of his own wellbeing as it was a representation of Pip's. 

Now, sitting at his desk and staring at too-full excel sheet, his mind was swarming with better ways he could have handled the day before. Without an aching hunger or exhaustion to distract him, his head was clearer than the mid panic and gut punching guilt from before. 

But his skin was still itching. 

Chewing on his pen, he rocked back and forth in his swivel chair, thinking of ways to make it up to John. If he was honest, he wasn’t quite sure why John’s disappointment was so distressing, but there was something about the way he looked at Pip that made his heart clench. 

And really, he wasn’t _blind_ ;John was hot. Alex wasn’t exactly known for his abilities ignoring his downstairs brain. 

On his fourth spin, the dead flowers on his windowsill caught his eye and a fresh wave of guilt hit him before he stopped his chair abruptly. His pinball of a brain had finally hit a target and for the first time since the day had started he had a coherent thought. 

Flowers. 

He’d get John flowers and send them before his shift started. 

***

Working directly with Alexander Hamilton was an incredibly rewarding and interesting endeavor. At least that’s the response Charlie gives when asked about it by family members and the occasional reporter covering Senator Washington and his staff. 

When discussing it with a therapist, Charlie would say it’s more like micromanaging a toddler. 

Today wasn’t any different. 

“Charlie!” The call came while Charlie was in an intense game of Go Fish and it caused the assistant to jump. 

This was an office building not a damn zoo. 

“Yeah boss?” 

Alex didn’t look up from his computer but Charlie didn’t mind. Eye contact tended to be difficult for him and Charlie preferred Alex save it for the public. “Can you find a place that’ll send sunflowers to my Liza’s studio within the hour?”

Charlie raised a brow at the absurdity of the question. 

“Boss, I am an all-powerful being, of course I can do that.” Charlie responded easily. “May I ask what perceived wrong-doing has you sending Eliza flowers?” 

While Alex processed the question, Charlie pulled up an application for a local flower shop and ordered the sunflowers to be sent to _Ballet of Sunshine._

“Not for her,” was the only response Charlie got from the clearly overstressed man. He was lucky Charlie wasn’t incredibly impatient or their conversations would be unpleasant at best.

“Am I supposed to guess who they’re for?”

Alex finally looked up from his computer, sparing Charlie a brief glance. “John,” he said simply. 

Good Lord it was like pulling teeth. 

“If I didn’t know that that’s the man you’ve been swooning over the past week, this would become a very difficult conversation, boss.” It was already an incredibly difficult conversation but Charlie was far too curious to let Alex avoid his way out of spilling the beans. 

“I have not been swooning over John.”

If Alex forced another eye roll out of Charlie, the assistant’s eye would roll right onto the floor. 

“You avoided my question about why you’re sending flowers.”

“Maybe it isn’t your business.” 

Grumpy. And completely incorrect. 

“All of your business is my business.”

Alex sent a glare Charlie’s way but couldn't logic himself out of admitting to his wrong-doings. 

“I left without saying goodbye.” 

Charlie held back a biting response on how unclear that response actually was and waited for him to elaborate. Alex hated uncomfortable silences so it didn’t take long for him to fidget and groan before speaking. “He’s taken issue with me being late and I responded by being late.” 

So nothing new. 

“Oh that one's rough,” Charlie attempted to comfort. “If he’s worth anything, he’ll forgive you.”

Alex snorted and shuffled some papers around his desk. 

“I think if he’s worth anything, he won’t.”

“You’re too hard on yourself, boss. Give yourself a break.” 

Alex’s expression shifted, shutting himself off from any other discussion. Well, it was a decent conversation while it lasted. 

“Send the flowers, Charlie,” Alex gritted out, clipped and back to focusing on his work. 

“Already sent, boss.” Charlie snapped and pointed two finger guns Alex’s way. 

“Great.” It was a clear dismissal but Charlie was ever a person to push his boundaries. 

“You should send apple cider donuts, too.”

Alex clenched his jaw and sent a stern look in his assistant’s direction. 

Right. No more pushing. 

Alex’s phone started to ring and he waved Charlie off, turning around in his chair. Whatever. Charlie would order the donuts anyway. 

Maybe some for the office too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short chapter but meet Charlie! Alex's magic assistant with powers Alex couldn't even imagine.  
> School has been a lot rougher than I imagined. I was enrolled in an intense class for seniors that I don't even need for my degree. A big mistake. So I'm dropping that so hopefully I'll write more.   
> I appreciate all the comments and I'll try to get back to everyone soon!   
> Also over 100 kudos??? Thank you everyone!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's morning is not going well - and it gets worse.   
> Eliza processes her emotions with Aaron.

The next morning John found himself staring at his ceiling, letting his alarm blare over and over until his limbs agreed to move. He was very quickly regretting his late night. Exhausted, he watched his coffee brew in slow motion, waiting on a s’mores pop tart heating in his toaster. Patsy would have a fit if she knew what kind of stuff he considered breakfast these days.

By the time he walked into _Ballet of Sunshine,_ he was bleary eyed but slightly less dead to the world.

The lights were on when he got there but Eliza was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Lafayette, though John knew they were supposed to have the morning shift with him. 

Figures.

When he crossed the threshold of his desk he was surprised to find a vase of sunflowers and a box of something that smelled absolutely heavenly from Maria’s cafe. 

“Oh! Good morning John,” Eliza stepped out of the employee lounge and greeted John with a soft smile. “Morning Eliza.” John gestured to the flowers. “Grateful parent?” he asked. Eliza laughed. 

“More like an apologetic one. They’re from Alex.” 

Oh. That was nice of him.

“He got you flowers?”

Eliza shot him an exasperated look. 

“They’re not at _my_ desk, John.” 

John couldn’t help the flush that flooded his body, his stomach tightening. “For me?” he said, barely above a whisper. He ran his fingers over the delicate petals, tears misting his eyes. 

Sunflowers were his mother’s favorite flower. They grew in the fields around their estate back in South Carolina. Alex couldn’t possibly have known that but it was a wonderful surprise that wrapped around his heart and squeezed. The last time he was given flowers was Mother’s Day two years earlier from his siblings. 

“He can be a kind man when he wants to be.”

“He’s awfully charming,” he agreed. John sniffed a smile and nodded at the box of baked goods.

“I take it those are for me too?” He pulled the string off the box after Eliza confirmed that they were for him. Apple cider donuts. From what he’s heard, those were Alex’s favorite. A darker part of his mind recalled the gifts that his father would buy him after a rough fight and that part battled with the side of him that wanted to appreciate Alex’s effort. 

Maybe if he put as much effort into being on time as he did on asking for forgiveness, he wouldn’t need to go to such lengths. 

“You don’t know him or his story, John.” 

Shit. Had he said that out loud? 

Judging by the sharpness in Eliza’s voice and the tight-lipped glare she sent his way, the darker part of his mind had taken over his mouth for a moment. Channeling the part that empathized with the difficulty of parenting he took a deep breath. 

“What’d he do that was so bad, nobody wants to save him from himself?” 

He couldn’t meet Eliza’s eyes; he burned a whole in the spot on the desk in between the two gifts Alex had given him. 

“It’s not like that.” Her voice was soft, hurt. 

He managed to wrench his eyes away from the spot they had settled on and shot her a glare. It faltered at the wrinkle in her brow and tears in her eyes but he pressed on. Alex wasn’t the only one to blame. 

““Then tell me how it is!” Eliza winced at his tone and he made sure to gentle it with his next sentence. “Cos from my perspective, he’s drowning and you’re all letting it happen.”

Eliza’s eyes flashed.

““You weren’t there,” she said, voice a dangerous whisper. “Don’t you dare try to lecture me on situations you know nothing about.”

Shame shot through John’s body but he swallowed it down with some difficulty. 

“Then tell me about them.”

***

The way John was looking at her, Eliza was tempted to spill everything. But it wasn’t her story to tell. And she told him just that. 

“How can I ever expect to know if nobody will tell me?”

“Have you considered that it isn’t really your business?” 

Eliza watched John’s jaw clench and braced herself for him snapping at her again. Aaron and her spoke the night before of John’s impressive temper, growing up with Angelica, she had more than a thick skin. 

But he just froze. Eliza was helpless to the immediate shuttering off of his expression and the abrupt change in demeanor. “You’re right.” His voice had taken on an automatic quality - hollow and far too professional for the setting. 

“I’ll get to work then. I’m sure there are messages and scheduling issues I need to attend to.

With that, John had effectively cut off any conversation and Eliza was left feeling unsettled. 

She decided right then that she’d have Laf and Angelica kill whoever taught John that “trick”. All motherly instincts she had begged her to take John and hug him, apologizing for everything bad that has ever happened, but John wasn’t there anymore, not emotionally. 

Instead, she nodded and noted her appreciation for his work. He barely responded.

Snickerdoodles. 

Leaving him, she went to her office to make herself some green tea and figure out how she was going to apologize to her employee that had quickly become a friend. 

_You could call Aaron,_ a small voice in her head informed her. He was on for the day and although she knew he was coming at one, she needed to hear his voice sooner rather than later.

 _He’s not your personal ‘fixer’. Don’t be a bother,_ a second, less reasonable voice argued. 

Shaking her head to dismiss the warring thoughts, she resigned herself to calling Aaron anyway. If he couldn’t help, he’d tell her. She’d known him for too long to make such assumptions about his opinions of her, especially since he’d told her otherwise on numerous occasions. 

The phone rang twice before Aaron picked up.

“What’s up, ‘Liza?”

“Hi. I’m so sorry to bother you on your morning off-”

“You’re never a bother, Eliza.”

She flushed; he never let her get away with that. 

“Right.”

Silence lingered for a moment as she considered what she wanted to say. 

“Are you okay, “Liza?” 

Oh rats. Now he was worried. 

“Yeah! Yes.” She felt Aaron’s wince through the phone and lowered her panicked voice. “Everything’s fine. Well not everything,” she admitted. 

“Am I meant to guess?”

Eliza laughed, a little hysterical before dumping as much of the story as she could onto Aaron. 

He listened, ever patient and kind, before speaking. 

“I noticed that he tends to do that, shutting people out when it becomes too much. He did a similar action when I tried to talk to him about the fight yesterday. 

Oh right. John needed a hug and Eliza would be the one to give it to him. After murdering whoever hurt him herself. And then punching Lafayette in the face before demanding they help her hide the body. 

“He just wants what’s best for everyone and I snapped at him for it,” she muttered. 

“You’re only human, Eliza. John doesn’t hold grudges.” 

She considered that for a moment but found it hard to believe. John was angry already and she had stoked a flame. 

“How would you know?” Eliza scoffed.

Aaron paused before replying.

“Last night he told me to go easy on Laf.”

That made a laugh bubble out of Eliza. Of course he did. Short fuse but an anger that fizzled out just as quickly as it exploded. 

“Hope you kicked Laf’s ass.”

“Eliza,” Aaron warned.

“I know, Iknow. None of my business.” She sighed, feeling less scattered and guilty than before. 

“How are you feeling, ‘Liza?” 

Eliza took a deep breath, taking an emotional inventory of herself. Her hands had stopped shaking and she wasn’t on the verge of tears anymore but there was still a part of her that wanted to apologize to John. She explained that to Aaron, voice quiet. 

“I see,” he started. “Why?”

Oh snickerdoodles. What a wretched question. 

“Because I snapped at him.” And because she insinuated that he wasn’t a member of the family when he most definitely is. 

“Is that all?”

One more question like that and Eliza might start taking up swearing. 

“No,” she admitted. There wasn’t any point lying when Aaron already knew. He always knew. 

“I said Alex’s life wasn’t any of his business. I made him feel unwelcome.”

“After he implied that you were hurting Alex on purpose. That we didn’t care about him.”

Oh. She hadn’t considered that. Aaron makes far too much sense. Her more reasonable half. 

“What would I do without your wisdom, Aaron?”

“Have more than one cat and devote your life only to them.”

She laughed, full bodied and content. 

“Yeah. I saved you from a life of being a cat lady.” 

Eliza rolled her eyes. The fact that she made an Instagram for Matcha did not make her a cat lady. 

“I see why I didn’t marry you.”

“What do you mean? We are married. Work married.”

He was absolutely one of the most ridiculous individuals Eliza had ever met. Work marriage. She shook her head fondly.

“Right. Well Work Husband, I have a class to teach. I’ll see you at one today?”

Aaron confirmed and they said their goodbyes. Taking a sip of her green tea, she took a moment to prepare herself before her class of three year olds barreled in. Apologies to John would come later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This chapter wrote itself to be honest. Let me know what y'all think!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Find me on tumblr here: [@wait-for-it-tonight](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wait-for-it-tonight)


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